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    Ancestry

    The following was overheard at a recent 'high society' party."My ancestry goes back all…
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    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…
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    Find and Replace

    The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship…
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    Extra Languages

    A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two guys are waiting.…
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    Cart Ads

    My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising…
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    Smart As A Brick

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands…
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    Eggsacting Solution

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Bear Hunting

    Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for…
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    Light Bulb List Members

    Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: 1,331:1…
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    Signs of E-Mail Addiction

    1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    More, More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse."Correction: The following typo…
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    Exercise

    - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I…
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    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…
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    Tired and Thirsty

    Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking,…

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You can endure 110 degrees without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Note: "Covered parking" is listed as a major benefit by many employers and apartment buildings.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside ...  at 7:30 a.m., before work!

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

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