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    Ugly Suit

    When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but…
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    Artist's Sketch

    Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got…
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    Out Of Office Replies

    I don't know about you, but I find those "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-replies so…
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    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…
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    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
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    Wedding Blessing

    At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final…
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    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
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    Curbing Church Growth

    25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the…
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    Most Famous Man

    A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one…
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    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
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    Birthday-Anniversary

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.'…
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    Extra Languages

    A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two guys are waiting.…
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    How does a home schooler change a light bulb?

    Q: How does a home schooler change a light bulb? A: First, mom checks three books on…

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You can endure 110 degrees without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Note: "Covered parking" is listed as a major benefit by many employers and apartment buildings.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside ...  at 7:30 a.m., before work!

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

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