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More Jokes

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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Swallowed a Coin

    The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in…
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    How's My Driving?

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Wilderness Guide

    "We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless…
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    Ice Cream Flavors

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Country Tunes

    My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style…
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    Pilot Pride

    As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…
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    Scared Smart

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Goat for Dinner

    The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a…
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    Party Advice

    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly…

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You can endure 110 degrees without fainting.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Note: "Covered parking" is listed as a major benefit by many employers and apartment buildings.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside ...  at 7:30 a.m., before work!

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

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