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    Goober Stewardess

    An airline captain was breaking in a new goober stewardess. The route they were flying…
  • picture of a hot pepper

    Pepper Advice

    When chopping a hot pepper... 1. Do NOT rub your nose... and if you do and it starts to…
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    The Night Shift

    A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…
  • chef bad

    You Are A Bad Cook If…

    You can find "You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...part 1" here. - The last time you tried…
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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Ancestry

    The following was overheard at a recent 'high society' party."My ancestry goes back all…
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    Shovel Need

    One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have…
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    Dangerous Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware…
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    Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE…
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    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
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    Baby Help

    Nancy's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant with her first kid. She allowed him to place…
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    Dog Weather

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog.If the dog is at the door…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…

1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

2. You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.

4. You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.

5. You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.

6. You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.

7. You keep repeating yourself.

8. You start video taping daytime game shows.

9. At the airport, they ask to check your bags...and you're not carrying any luggage.

10. You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.

11. Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.

12. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

13. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

14. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out.

15. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.

16. Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."

17. You keep repeating yourself.

18. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

19. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.

20. You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

21. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."

22. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

23. You look both ways before crossing a room.

24. Your social security number only has three digit s.

25. You keep repeating yourself.

26. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

27. You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.

28. You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.

29. The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed."

30. At parties you attend, "regularity" is considered the topic of choice.

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