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    Loose Fitting Clothing

    April teaches many aerobic classes. She told a lady who was looking to sign up for the…
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    Just Visiting Here

    The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging…
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    A Short History of Medicine

    "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
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    Wrong Chanel

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    Food, Family and Philosophy

    Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Untouched for 600 Years

    A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This…
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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    You're Not A Monk

    A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the…
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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Dusty Comeback

    My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.One evening my dad returned home from work,…
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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…

1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.

2. You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.

4. You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.

5. You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.

6. You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.

7. You keep repeating yourself.

8. You start video taping daytime game shows.

9. At the airport, they ask to check your bags...and you're not carrying any luggage.

10. You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.

11. Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.

12. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

13. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

14. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out.

15. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.

16. Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."

17. You keep repeating yourself.

18. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

19. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.

20. You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.

21. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."

22. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

23. You look both ways before crossing a room.

24. Your social security number only has three digit s.

25. You keep repeating yourself.

26. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

27. You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.

28. You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.

29. The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed."

30. At parties you attend, "regularity" is considered the topic of choice.

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