You Know You Have A Bad Computer When . . .
10. The lower corner of screen has the words "etch a sketch" on it.
9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes.
8. You have to pedal it.
7. The manual contains one sentence: "good luck!"
6. The only chip inside is a Dorito.
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling.
4. You catch a virus from it.
3. Screen frequently freezes and message comes up: "Ain't it break time, Chester?"
2. While running, it emits deafening calliope music.
1. It cyber-snickers at you.