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  • cemetary

    Mail Problems

    Thanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family. Dear Pastor Tim, This is…
  • classroom

    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…
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    Road Crew Signs

    While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews.To…
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    Not For Lunch

    My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
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    Bulletin Humor

    I hope the bulletin in your church is more accurate than the ones that these occurred in.…
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    Teacher Tech Help

    The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me…
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    Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.You will never get the urge to use the…
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    Prayers as Heard By Children

    Prayers as Heard By ChildrenFrom San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer…
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    Enemies in the West

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Blind Ambition

    Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes. He has inspired me and thousands of…
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    CD Sleeves

    My daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with plastic sleeves for all…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…

You Know You Have A Bad Computer When . . .

10. The lower corner of screen has the words "etch a sketch" on it.

9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes.

8. You have to pedal it.

7. The manual contains one sentence: "good luck!"

6. The only chip inside is a Dorito.

5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling.

4. You catch a virus from it.

3. Screen frequently freezes and message comes up: "Ain't it break time, Chester?"

2. While running, it emits deafening calliope music.

1. It cyber-snickers at you.

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