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More Jokes

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    Hog Mark-up

    My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next…
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    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…
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    Smart Chauffer

    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found…
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    Goober Pilots

    Two Goobers (pilots) are trying to land an airplane. They start descending and as they…
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    General Motors Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    Translation Tries

    A Latin American minister was touring the U.S. in an effort to boost financial support…
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    Foul Suspicion

    After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went…
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    Listen For The Word

    Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless,…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Don't Smoke

    A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a…
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    Pick of the Crop

    A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll…
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    What The Teacher Says and What She Really Means

    1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his…
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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
You know you're a northerner when...

~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not winter and almost winter
~ you have more miles on your snow blower than your car
~ driving in winter is better, because all the potholes get filled with snow
~ you feel warm and toasty at minus 26
~ you find minus 40 a mite chilly
~ the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
~ somewhere in the area is a piece of frozen metal with bits of your tongue stuck to it
~ you thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary
~ men think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown with only eight buttons
~ your dog wears boots too
~ the mayor greets you on the street by your first name
~ if you don't go out for lunch you miss the sunrise and sunset
~ there is a sign outside of McDonalds that says: "Park dogteams in back"
~ if the school district had snow days, no one would ever have to go to school
~ you live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground
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