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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in…
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    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…
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    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
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    Exercise Classes

    I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.If I *had*…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    The Company Car

    The Company Car...1. It accelerates at a phenomenal rate.2. It has a much shorter braking…
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    Salesman Stop By

    One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie…
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    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…
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    Prayer Postions

    Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman…
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    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…
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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    Kids' Kitchen Terms

    Kids' Kitchen TermsBOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck"…
You know you're a northerner when...

~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not winter and almost winter
~ you have more miles on your snow blower than your car
~ driving in winter is better, because all the potholes get filled with snow
~ you feel warm and toasty at minus 26
~ you find minus 40 a mite chilly
~ the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
~ somewhere in the area is a piece of frozen metal with bits of your tongue stuck to it
~ you thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary
~ men think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown with only eight buttons
~ your dog wears boots too
~ the mayor greets you on the street by your first name
~ if you don't go out for lunch you miss the sunrise and sunset
~ there is a sign outside of McDonalds that says: "Park dogteams in back"
~ if the school district had snow days, no one would ever have to go to school
~ you live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground
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