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More Jokes

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    Last Minute Suggestions

    Automotive Gift Suggestions - Just in Time for Last Minute Christmas ShoppingIf you have…
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    Carry A Flashlight

    A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin."Is it true…
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    Tech Smoke

    A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.Tech: What's the…
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    Buffalo Comments

    Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, "Those are the…
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    If You Love Someone

    Pessimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... if she ever comes back, she's yours, If…
  • church people

    Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    - Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements. - In Christmas play, Joseph seen…
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    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Quiz Query

    My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.One morning at breakfast she…
  • mayan calender

    End of Mayan Calendar

    Several thousand years ago... Mayan one: "Okay guys I've finished the calender!" Mayan…
  • Mother's Day photo frame

    What Mom's Really Want

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want...* 10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone)…
  • printer 2

    Do It Yourself

    When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a…
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    Pay Mistakes

    One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything…
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    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup.The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
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    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
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    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…

You know you're getting there when...

  • Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  • You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
  • Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
  • Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
  • Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
  • You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
  • You and your teeth don't sleep together.
  • Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
  • At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
  • Your back goes out but you stay home.
  • When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
  • When happy hour is a nap.
  • When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
  • When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
  • When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
  • It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
  • Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
  • The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
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