logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • puppies

    Puppy Mark

    An effusive client brought a litter of puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations…
  • Default Image

    Three Legged Chicken

    A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken. He was…
  • Default Image

    Lawyer News

    "I have good news and bad news," the defence attorney told his client. "First the bad…
  • Default Image

    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
  • Default Image

    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…
  • Default Image

    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
  • Default Image

    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
  • Default Image

    Diary of A House Husband

    "Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
  • car fast

    Crossing the Road

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
  • jeans

    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
  • Default Image

    Tennis Ball Lesson

    A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each…
  • Default Image

    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
  • Default Image

    Crossing Chicken

    Question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers: KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to…
  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

1.  You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

2.  You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.

3.  You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

4.  You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

5.  Your child throws up and you catch it.

6.  Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

7.  You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.

8.  You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.

9.  Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, and you do it.

10.  You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.

11.  You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.

12.  You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.

13.  You hate the thought of his wife even more.

14.  You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.

15.  You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.

16.  You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.

17.  You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.

18.  You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."

19.  You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

20.  You read that the average five-year-old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average."

21.  You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job," but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

Powered By JFBConnect