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More Jokes

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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Shoe Repair

    Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from…
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    Politcal Quotes

    "I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain…
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    Window Entry

    A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a man…
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    Keyboard Switch

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
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    Repair Call

    Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly…
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    Cold Cream Questions

    A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face."Why…
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    Rules for Editing

    Some of you have noticed a few typos in the CleanLaugh list now and then. To improve this…
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    4th Grade Experiment

    The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she…
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    Bible Answer

    A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Record Store

    A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Scavenger Hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma'am," he…

You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

* Your potted plants stay alive.
* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
* You carry an umbrella.
* You watch the Weather Channel.
* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
* Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
* You're the one calling the police because those rascal kids next door don't turn down the stereo.
* You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
* Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
* You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
* MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
* Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, Diet Pepsi, and Ho-Ho's.
* Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

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