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More Jokes

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    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
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    Country Boys

    These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it…
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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…
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    Mom's Phone

    Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a…
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    Buy A Verdict

    Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of…
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    Ad Woes

    A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East assignment. His boss…
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    Mule Solution

    A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left…
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    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
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    Dog Breeding Made Absurd

    ~ Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet ~ Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
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    How Did You Get Me?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…
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    Summer Plans

    Summer vacation was almost about to start and the teacher asked little Sammy about a…

You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

* Your potted plants stay alive.
* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
* You carry an umbrella.
* You watch the Weather Channel.
* You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
* Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
* You're the one calling the police because those rascal kids next door don't turn down the stereo.
* You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
* Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
* You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
* Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
* You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
* Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
* MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
* Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, Diet Pepsi, and Ho-Ho's.
* Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

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