More Jokes

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    Too Late To Date

    After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was…
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    Q & A

    Q. Why did Freud cross the road?A. Hmm, and when did you first notice this interest in…
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    Rest In Peace

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Sightseeing at Alcatraz

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    The Verge

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"One child…
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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Beginning School

    Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him…
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    Pitching Control

    A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk…
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    Goober Golf Dispute

    Two goobers were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy…
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    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
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    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…
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    Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping

    A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed…
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    "If It" Office Advice

    If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles,…
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    Amish Law

    An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed…
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    Think of a Number

    Think of a number.Multiply it by 3.Now add 5.Take away the number you first thought…

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).


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