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More Jokes

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    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
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    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
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    Government Car

    As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment…
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    Eggplant Sale

    A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea.--three for a dollar."All day long,…
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    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…
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    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims ..., it really means ... - rough condition... too bad to lie about -…
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    Cherokee 180

    One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active…
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    Setting The Table

    Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for…
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    Department Staff

    The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Most Difficult Case

    Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over dinner, one asked, "What…
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    Leaving the Farm

    A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the…
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    No Wonder English is So Hard to Learn

    No wonder English is so hard to learn. We polish the Polish furniture.He could lead if he…

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

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