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    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
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    Birds and Bees

    Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school. When the boy reached the…
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    Lobster Tails

    A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and…
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    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    Parenting Idea

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
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    Weddings and Funerals

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling…
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    Got the Munchies?

    Mrs. Jones had been steadfast in her local congregation for many years and that is why…
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    Meatloaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
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    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…
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    Actual Signs

    Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you…
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    Broken Bone

    While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a…
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    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Taxi Craze

    Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told…
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    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
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    Wittle Wabbits

    Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled…

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

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