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More Jokes

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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Shopping Wife Find

    A couple went Christmas shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and…
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    The Perfect Church Design

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month…
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    Bonus

    Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.Faced with hard times, the…
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    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Chemlite Arrival

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps very difficult. We attach small…
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    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    Warning Labels

    Warning Labels!7 Up:Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other…
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    Turtle Ears

    Tradition here in the office is to keep a notepad with the punch lines from the various…
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    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
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    Suggestion Box

    The strict and unsmiling manager noticed that the suggestion box was missing from the…
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    New Employee Orientation

    Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a high-tech company. During the welcoming…
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    Weight For Help

    Somewhat skeptical of his son's new found determination to become Charles Atlas, the…
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    More Newspaper Bloopers

    Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests". A…

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

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