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    If You Love Someone

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    Parts Search

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    Cry On for Crayons

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    Out of the Loop

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    Fly Swatter

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    Doctor Quotes

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    Card Reader

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    Politically Correct Light Bulb

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    Dishwashed Verse

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    English Errors

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    Dinosaur Highway

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    Golf Discovery

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    Back Seat Johnny

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    Zoo Trip

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    Football Sleep

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~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

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