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More Jokes

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    Epitaph Adjustment

    A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she…
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    How To Write A College Paper

    How to write a College Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted…
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    Babysitting

    With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge of our three energetic…
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    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…
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    Illegal Turn

    A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it…
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    Withheld Pay

    After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a…
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    More Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    Evil Brothers

    There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    Another Reason Not To Drink

    This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…
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    Thoughtful Sidney

    Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a…
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    Happy Anniversary

    The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw…
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    Cowboy's Guide to Life

    Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you…
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    Dads

    My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my…

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

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