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More Jokes

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    More, More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse."Correction: The following typo…
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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    All Purpose Excuse Form

    Here is an all purpose excuse form, designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
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    Late Arrival

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"He…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Colorful Grandma

    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
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    Senior's Ode to Medication

    A row of bottles on my shelfcaused me to analyze myself.One yellow pill I have to popGoes…
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    Professor Turns Plumber

    A professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home leaked. He called a…
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    Omitted Stories

    Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of…
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    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
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    $0.00

    In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his…
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    Advertising Terms Explained

    *Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts…

~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.

~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Quoted, with permission, from "Best of You Might be a Preacher if...", written by Mark Hollingsworth and Stan Toler and published by Dust Jacket Press (formerly TQL Productions).

 

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