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    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
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    Sidewalk Preacher

    A sidewalk preacher stood on a soapbox downtown and started a rousing sermon on…
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    Time Off

    Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said…
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    How To Interpret Employment Ads

    "Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "Join…
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    Left Behind

    "You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. "While you're…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
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    Flight Advice

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Athletics Anonymous

    These days, with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, a new organization has…
  • picture of eyeglasses

    Looking Back

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Dextrocardia Question

    I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…

* You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

* You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

* You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

* It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

* You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

* You have a pet named after a scientist.

* You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

* You can translate English into Binary.

* You can't remember what's behind the door at the lab that says "Exit."

* You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

* You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy."

* When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere in the universe.

* You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.

* The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

* You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.

* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.

* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.

* You've even calculated how much you make per second.

* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q".

* You understood more than five of these jokes.

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