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    Flying Follies

    Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations between airline…
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    Miscellaneous Goobers

    GOOBERS AT WORK - I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk…
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    Maid Mother

    For all their lives, my three sons have been told they have to do their chores around the…
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    Heavenly Music

    I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or…
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    Are You The Defendant?

    The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?""No sir,…
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    What's it Take?

    "What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked.Her…
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    Helping Mom

    A little while after my mother was widowed, it became apparent that she was unable to…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…
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    I.T. Department Computer Problem Self-Report Form

    *I.T. Department Computer Problem Self-Report Form* 1. Describe your problem:…
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    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
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    Visiting List

    A Catholic priest I once knew went to the hospital to visit patients. Stopping at the…
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    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Hybrid Car

    My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the…
  • Kit Kat

    Favorite Candy

    Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…

* You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

* You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

* You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

* It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

* You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

* You have a pet named after a scientist.

* You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

* You can translate English into Binary.

* You can't remember what's behind the door at the lab that says "Exit."

* You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

* You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy."

* When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere in the universe.

* You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.

* The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

* You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.

* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.

* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.

* You've even calculated how much you make per second.

* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q".

* You understood more than five of these jokes.

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