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    Locked Out

    First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the…
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    Mom's Phone

    Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a…
  • train station

    Large Party

    On one occasion William Howard Taft, in his work as an attorney, took a train to…
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    Hooked Shot

    Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club and hooked his shot…
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    Pit Falls

    This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was…
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    I Always Wondered About That

    During a summer break from my studies at an engineering university, I worked in a scrap…
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    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
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    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
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    Dextrocardia Question

    I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee When . . .* You can type sixty words a minute with…
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    Eye Test Chart

    When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The…

* You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

* You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

* You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

* It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

* You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

* You have a pet named after a scientist.

* You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

* You can translate English into Binary.

* You can't remember what's behind the door at the lab that says "Exit."

* You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

* You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy."

* When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere in the universe.

* You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

* The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.

* The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

* You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.

* You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.

* You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.

* You've even calculated how much you make per second.

* Your favorite James Bond character is "Q".

* You understood more than five of these jokes.

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