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More Jokes

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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Newlywed Grace

    A recently married man was walking with his father one day and said: "My new wife's…
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    Paid For Standing

    The owner of a manufacturing firm decided to make a surprise tour of the factory. Walking…
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    One Rifle Hunting

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Turkey Shopping

    It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few…
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    Y2K Backup System

    While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our…
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    More Newspaper Bloopers

    Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests". A…
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    Piranha Spell

    While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked…
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    It Sure Is

    An elderly couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband…
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    Caught Sleeping

    Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of…
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    Putting the Cat Out

    A couple is going out for an evening on the town.When they are almost ready to go, the…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    Jumper

    At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…

car oldYou need a new car when ...

- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.

- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.

- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.

- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."

- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.

- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.

- Evel Knievel refuses a free lift.

- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.

- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

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