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More Jokes

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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    You Know You Are Over the Hill When

    1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. 2. You're sitting on a park bench…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Crossing Lesson

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!* Next weekend's Fasting &…
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    Out of Gas Advice

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Logic Amongst the Sciences

    A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people…
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    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
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    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    More On Candidates

    A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Do As I Say!

    An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a…
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    George W. meets Moses

    George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a…
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    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…

car oldYou need a new car when ...

- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.

- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.

- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.

- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."

- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.

- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.

- Evel Knievel refuses a free lift.

- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.

- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

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