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More Jokes

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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Burning Call

    A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…
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    Distraught Senior

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office."Is it true," she wanted to know,…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Battle Of The Dogs

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued…
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    Forgetfulness

    While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old…
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    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
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    New Phonetic Alphabet

    The same old standard phonetic alphabet (which you would use to describe spelling…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
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    Cherokee 180

    One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active…
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    50 Years From Now

    Three elderly gents were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    Busted

    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…
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    Cruising

    These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1. (For this one, you have…

car oldYou need a new car when ...

- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.

- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.

- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.

- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."

- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.

- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.

- Evel Knievel refuses a free lift.

- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.

- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

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