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  • firetruck

    Brave Firefighters

    A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

    1. Blaming your gas on me.... Not Funny 2. Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog you…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #2

    C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Time Off

    Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said…
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    Searching For Witnesses

    The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a…
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    Gender Smarts

    Diamonds are a girl's best friend.Dogs are a man's best friend.Now you know which gender…
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    Medical Alert

    A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what…
  • garage

    Signs Your Garage Needs to be Cleaned

    - It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on BattleBots. - I don't care what…
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    Just Like Mother

    Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny…
  • Picture of Couple Standing

    Marriage Counselling

    A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of…
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    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…
  • man laugh

    Funny Quotes

    Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.- Red Buttons Did…
  • doctor4

    Baby Prescription

    A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had…

car oldYou need a new car when ...

- You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.

- You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.

- You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.

- The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."

- The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker.

- You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.

- Evel Knievel refuses a free lift.

- The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.

- The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

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