logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

You're not a kid anymore when....

You're not a kid anymore when....

1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

5. The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

6. You are proud of your lawnmower.

7. 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

8. People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

9. Your highschool diploma is the color of buttermilk.

10. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

11. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

12. You make everyone be quiet during weather bulletins.

13. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

14. You have to get a fire permit to light your birthday candles. (G)

15. Someone breaks wind and you don't laugh.

16. You're always asked to say the blessing.

17. When you talk about "good grass", you're referring to someone's lawn.

18. Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You've seen Halley's Comet...twice.

21. Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
  • snake

    Car 34

    A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner…
  • Default Image

    Mother Tongue

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
  • child pray

    Pray Loud

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys…
  • Default Image

    Classmate Reunion

    While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed…
  • guard dog

    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
  • Default Image

    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
  • Default Image

    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
  • Car-pooling, wallets and suspicions are a bad mix.

    Stolen Wallet

    It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new member was traveling…
  • cemetary

    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
  • Default Image

    Feeding Shamu

    At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer…
  • handcuff

    Houdini Wannabe

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
  • steak2

    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
  • Default Image

    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
  • pharmacist

    Food Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was…