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More Jokes

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    I can't come in to work today because . . . .

    - "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm…
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    Indiana Rainstorm

    After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a…
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    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…
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    Thanks, Honey

    A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes…
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    Dr. Dress

    During my surgical residency I was called out of a sound sleep to the emergency room.…
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    18 Wheeler

    There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the…
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    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…
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    This Town is so Small...

    This town is so small . . .- The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one…
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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
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    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
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    12 Reasons to Buy a New Car

    1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.2. Instead of an…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
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    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…
  • childrens hands

    Starting Over

    The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have…
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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…

You're not a kid anymore when....

1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

5. The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

6. You are proud of your lawnmower.

7. 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

8. People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

9. Your highschool diploma is the color of buttermilk.

10. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

11. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

12. You make everyone be quiet during weather bulletins.

13. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

14. You have to get a fire permit to light your birthday candles. (G)

15. Someone breaks wind and you don't laugh.

16. You're always asked to say the blessing.

17. When you talk about "good grass", you're referring to someone's lawn.

18. Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You've seen Halley's Comet...twice.

21. Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

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