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More Jokes

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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Curve Hand

    A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a…
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    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Puppy Power

    Officer Roland, near the end of his shift, noticed a woman driving a small pickup truck…
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    Navajo Wisdom

    About 1969 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts…
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    "Brake Down"

    My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable…
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    Flower Switch

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Flight Delay Announcement

    A passenger on a Southwest flight says that he once faced a flight delay just before they…
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    Parting Words

    A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church…
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    Spa First Day

    A woman joined a health spa, and on her first day eagerly joined in an exercise class.…
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    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Bear Hunting Preacher

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some…
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    White Gloves

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
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    Lost Bid

    Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly…

You're not a kid anymore when....

1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

5. The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

6. You are proud of your lawnmower.

7. 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

8. People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

9. Your highschool diploma is the color of buttermilk.

10. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

11. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

12. You make everyone be quiet during weather bulletins.

13. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

14. You have to get a fire permit to light your birthday candles. (G)

15. Someone breaks wind and you don't laugh.

16. You're always asked to say the blessing.

17. When you talk about "good grass", you're referring to someone's lawn.

18. Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You've seen Halley's Comet...twice.

21. Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

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