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More Jokes

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    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
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    Apology Letter

    Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer…
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    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
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    Sending It With Him

    There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a…
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    More Oneliners

    I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Madness…
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    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job.After a visit to…
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    8-Year-Old Asks

    An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy,…
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    Executive Approval

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Snake Glasses

    An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very…
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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
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    All You Can Drink

    There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Resume Blunders

    How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:"My…

You're not a kid anymore when....

1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

5. The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

6. You are proud of your lawnmower.

7. 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

8. People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

9. Your highschool diploma is the color of buttermilk.

10. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

11. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

12. You make everyone be quiet during weather bulletins.

13. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

14. You have to get a fire permit to light your birthday candles. (G)

15. Someone breaks wind and you don't laugh.

16. You're always asked to say the blessing.

17. When you talk about "good grass", you're referring to someone's lawn.

18. Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You've seen Halley's Comet...twice.

21. Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

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