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    New Medical Technology

    A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    The Head Hog

    The secretary picked up the phone and heard a very "countryfied" voice on the other end…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Pick of the Crop

    A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll…
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    Let Us Know

    The following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:"Here's a good test…
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    The Gift

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, "I…
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    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
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    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
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    14 Letters

    Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence…
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    Clothes Hamper

    I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked…
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    Interpreting Hotel Brochures

    Old world charm ............. No bathTropical .................... RainyMajestic setting…
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    Walking Recovery

    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected…
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    Tight Shoes

    A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    When Aging Reality Sets In

    *When Aging Reality Sets In*1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying…

You're not a kid anymore when....

1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

5. The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

6. You are proud of your lawnmower.

7. 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

8. People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

9. Your highschool diploma is the color of buttermilk.

10. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

11. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

12. You make everyone be quiet during weather bulletins.

13. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

14. You have to get a fire permit to light your birthday candles. (G)

15. Someone breaks wind and you don't laugh.

16. You're always asked to say the blessing.

17. When you talk about "good grass", you're referring to someone's lawn.

18. Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You've seen Halley's Comet...twice.

21. Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

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