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More Jokes

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    Warning Labels

    Warning Labels!7 Up:Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other…
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    The Place for Grace

    When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away."Johnny wait until we…
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    Sunday Funnies

    One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship…
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    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
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    Out of Gas Options

    The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to…
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    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    Silent Descent

    Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. "Teddy," he…
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    Australia Q & A

    These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website: the answers…
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    Goober Dieter

    A goober was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Ball Markers

    A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell…
  • knee bones

    Sore Knee

    Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my right knee hurts so…
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    Jumper

    At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…

You're not a kid anymore when....

1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.

2. Your back goes out more than you do.

3. You no longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.

4. The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

5. The pharmacy gives you a volume discount.

6. You are proud of your lawnmower.

7. 8 a.m. is your idea of "sleeping in."

8. People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: "Did I wake you?"

9. Your highschool diploma is the color of buttermilk.

10. Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.

11. Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

12. You make everyone be quiet during weather bulletins.

13. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

14. You have to get a fire permit to light your birthday candles. (G)

15. Someone breaks wind and you don't laugh.

16. You're always asked to say the blessing.

17. When you talk about "good grass", you're referring to someone's lawn.

18. Soaking your feet in Epsom Salts borders on an erotic experience.

19. Your ears are hairier than your head.

20. You've seen Halley's Comet...twice.

21. Your idea of the perfect nightcap is Metamucil.

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