logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

business timingYou've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-organize your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."

12. You calculate your own personal cost of capital.

13. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

14. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

15. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people."

16. You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.

17. You refer to your spouse as "my Co-CEO."

18. You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.

19. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.

20. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.

21. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

22. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Why Don't I see You?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was…
  • Default Image

    Professionalism Test

    Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is…
  • Default Image

    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Pole Contest

    A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers.The next day, two…
  • high tea

    Two Teas

    1st customer: I'll have tea. 2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the cup is clean! (The…
  • puddle

    Country Puddle

    A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the…
  • Default Image

    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
  • Default Image

    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
  • Default Image

    Raise Plea

    The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise…
  • Default Image

    Crowded Bus

    It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my…
  • phone handheld 2

    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that,…
  • Default Image

    Sarahella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
  • Default Image

    Correct Response

    While in an instrument flight-training class at Reese Air Force Base, Texas, I dozed off…
  • spray can

    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…