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More Jokes

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    Why Teachers Go Gray

    These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville,…
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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Ten Rules for Good Housekeeping

    Ten Rules for Good Housekeeping 1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
  • law offices

    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
  • cooking

    Martha's Way vs. My Way #2

    Martha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a…
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    The Gift

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, "I…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Next Question

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
  • pharmacist

    Food Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
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    Civil War Re-enactment

    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
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    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…

business timingYou've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-organize your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."

12. You calculate your own personal cost of capital.

13. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

14. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

15. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people."

16. You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.

17. You refer to your spouse as "my Co-CEO."

18. You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.

19. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.

20. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.

21. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

22. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.

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