logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
  • Default Image

    Camping with Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of…
  • Default Image

    Martha Raye, Stewardess

    I once went for a job at an airline. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a…
  • Default Image

    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
  • Default Image

    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
  • Default Image

    Think of a Number

    Think of a number.Multiply it by 3.Now add 5.Take away the number you first thought…
  • Default Image

    Grizzly Bears

    Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on…
  • Default Image

    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
  • Default Image

    Clerk Problem

    In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting…
  • Default Image

    Keep Walking

    An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.…
  • post it_notes

    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
  • Default Image

    Y1K Problem

    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
  • Default Image

    The Vet and The Doc

    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
  • Default Image

    Employment History

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
  • Default Image

    Raise Plea

    The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise…

business timingYou've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-organize your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."

12. You calculate your own personal cost of capital.

13. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

14. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

15. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people."

16. You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.

17. You refer to your spouse as "my Co-CEO."

18. You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.

19. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.

20. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.

21. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

22. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.

Powered By JFBConnect