To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!
Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house.
The one time you cuss on the radio, your Chief will be listening.
Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing!
You will be decorated for stupidity, and busted for brilliant work.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never respond to a "domestic" with anyone braver than you.
No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes the Chief's idea.
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
There isn't very much new on the Cybersalt Site today because I was working today on some background stuff instead.
I've made some major progress towards getting a complete, search-able, online system of every item that has appeared in the Cybersalt Digest (or other variations of it) since 1998. I'm really looking forward to having that done on the site as it's been one of the most requested features down through the years.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Proper Attire"
Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria."
Next to it, a student added, "Socks can eat wherever they want."
You can rate this joke at:
One of the basic equations of physics is e = hv, where v is the Greek letter 'nu' (pronounced new).
This can be written v = e/h.
If one physicist were to ask another, "What's new?" the other might answer, "e/h."
“The difference between God and a fighter pilot is that God doesn't think He's a fighter pilot.”
“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.”
Today's Illustration - "The Good Old Days"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days.
"Just act surprised and tell them you didn't think that they were old enough to remember them."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Shop with Amazon! - http://amzn.to/2z3uBpa