Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This happened to me one day while driving home in the middle of a blinding storm.
Unable to see, I pulled over and tried to figure out a quick fix. I found it in a yellow cotton work glove lying on the floor. I wedged the cloth hand under the wiper arm. It did a great job keeping my windshield clear.
Not only that -- you'd be surprised at how many people waved back.
OK, I need to have a heart to heart talk with the men reading this. Ladies, of course you may read along since this involves you but you might find some of the guy talk a bit rough so be warned.
Men, Sunday is Valentine's day and the special woman in your life wants you to do something special for them. This special thing will make their heart feel warm and fuzzy and gushy (rhymes with "pushy" not "lushy"). This special thing is probably also something that isn't obvious to you because what they really want is for you to think and figure out what would be meaningful to them that you would never in a hundred million years think of unless you try to.
Please get off the ledge; it's not as bad as it sounds. Just avoid things such as appliances that make household work easier, products designed for self-improvement (ie. body shape, breath smell, etc), power tools YOU really want, and any kind of art that involves the hair on your back.
What you have to do is communicate how you value them - honest, my wife just told me so as I read this to her ( including the part I just removed).
I suggest the following for a start. Gather together some pictures of the favorite moments you have shared together and make a beautiful slideshow of them - complete with words describing your feelings about her. Smileboxhas great system that will help you do that and add music as well. Smilebox is easy to use and free. I know that that is counter-intuitive to how lots of us think about gift giving because we think it has to be difficult and expensive.
But in today's economy and world, there is a shortage of money and a shortage of heartfelt sentiment so why not help cure both with a Smileboxvalentine's card today?
Speaking of gift giving and back hair, today's new links on the Cybersalt Site will hopefully give you a laugh about both.
Beware of the Dog House:
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Sermon Feedback"
They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant.
An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.
The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."
The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"
You can rate this joke at:
"Scissors are overpowered. Rock is fine." - Paper
Today's Illustration - "Reputation"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Lenora, 95-years-old and in excellent health, confided that she was terribly worried:
"Every one of my friends has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where *I* went!"
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/
Men, whatever the holiday is, beware of the dog house.
I don't speak the language that this man does, but I think he is saying, "Hey look! I have a really narrow garage that my car just barely fits in." Though, he might be saying, "That's the problem with this town - this is the only exciting thing to film for the news."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
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