A doctor wrote about an epitaph he had seen in a local cemetery:
"In memory of my father: gone to join his appendix, his tonsils, his olfactory nerve, a kidney, an eardrum, and a leg prematurely removed by an intern who needed the experience."
Dear Mr. President:
How much money does the president make? Could you please write and tell me because if it isn't enough money then I will become a dentist.
--Timothy U., age 7 Jamestown, NY
When will we have a woman president? I am ready.
--Brooke A, age 10 Peoria, IL
Do you have any friends in Congress? My mom says your only friend is the vice-president.
--Richard D., age 8 Greenwich, CT
Someday I hope there will be a woman president. But not my sister. She will drive everybody crazy----the Democrats and Republicans.
--A citizen, Lawrence K., age 8 Atlanta, GA
What is your favorite book? My mom said it is the Bible because you have to pray a lot.
--Kimberly W., age 8, Meriden, CT
Dear President Bush:
Can you help with the weather in Seattle? It rains too much. My mom said not even the president can do anything about the weather. I hope she is wrong. We need more sunshine in Seattle.
--Elizabeth P., age 8 Seattle WA
What does Congress do all day? My dad told me that Congress doesn't do anything but make trouble.
--Ralph N., Palm Beach, FL
What does the vice president do all day? I have asked a lot of grownups and nobody knows the answer.
--Shannon D., age 8 Bismarck, ND
I think you won the election because you were a better speaker even if a lot of people didn't know what you were talking about.
--Tracey O., age 10 Green Valley, AZ
My girlfriend Betsy and I would like to get married in the White House when we get married someday. We will be married in 20 years.
--Peter N., age 7 Bismarck, ND
Dear President Bush:
What size shoes do you wear? My grandfather died last month and he left a lot of shoes and my brother and I would like to send you and the vice-president a pair of shoes. Do you like brown shoes or black shoes? We will shine the shoes before we send them to you.
--Joey P., age 8 Erie, PA
On TV you didn't answer some questions because you said the answer was classified. Can I classify my answers? I got into trouble when I admitted I broke something I shouldn't have touched. If I could say the answer is classified, I wouldn't be in trouble.
--Martin J., age 9 Philadelphia, PA
Dear Mr. President:
My girlfriend Alyssa is a Republican and I am a Democrat. Someday we may get married. Can a Democrat marry a Republican and be happy? I am 12 and my girlfriend is 11. We would like your answer before we are 18.
--Ryan C., age 12 Philadelphia, PA
Someday if we have a woman president we will need more closets in the White House so the president will have room for all her clothes. My mom has three closets and my sister has two closets and my dad and my brother and I have to share closets.
--Michael P., age 8 San Diego, CA
Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to the air reconnaissance section.
Although I had recently been promoted, I was feeling rusty, and wanted to get started learning my duties so as not to appear too "green."
I confided to the Air Force lieutenant colonel who greeted me that I was anxious to meet the Air Boss right away.
"Don't worry, son," he said reassuringly, "the Air Boss is a real professional, knows his stuff cold and works well with his people. Great guy."
"Terrific!" I replied. "What's his name?"
Looking through the roster, the welcoming officer replied, "O'Hara."
"Oh, no," I groaned. "That's me."
The newly elected secretary for the Deacon Board at church submitted this report:
October the something Deacon's meeting
Present was most of the deacons; one was absent.
Chairman Tad asked Luke to say something, and he did.
New officers were needed; some of us were arm twisted into taking the positions.
Some old business was remembered, and most of it had been approved. What wasn't was not important.
We tried to think of some new business, but it was decided that we're too old to be new.
Some of the deacons were getting tired so we decided to get out of the meeting.
(Secretary's note: I said I would type the meeting minutes; not that they would be worth a hoot!!)
There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.
He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GED, and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy.
"Tell me your choice," said he to the boy, "What's your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind."
The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's the DAY, sir."
"How???????" the interviewer shot back, smiling. ("At last, I got you!" he said to himself.)
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
The student was admitted to the University.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
