Entertainment

A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works.  She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road.  The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.

The goober agreed to the conditions and starts right away.  The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the goober had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average!  "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."

The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the goober only accomplished 2 miles.  The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

On the third day, the goober only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse." The boss pulled the new employee in and says, "You were doing so great.  The first day you did 4 miles, the second day 2 miles, but yesterday you only did one mile.  Why?  Is there a problem?  An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?"

The goober replied, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket."

I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son.

Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge dock florist.  Disk ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, end fur disc raisin pimple caudler Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.

Wan moaning Rat Rotten Hut's murder color in set: "Ladle Rat Rotten hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter and shirker cockles.  Tick disc ladle Tudor cordage offer groin murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist.  Shake lake; dun stopper laundry wrote and yonder nor sorghum stenches dun stopper torque wit strainers!"

"Hoe cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, and tickle ladle basking and stuttering oft.  Honor wrote Tudor cordage offer groin murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.

"Wail, wail, wail," set disc wicket woof, "evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut!

War or putty ladle gull goring, wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor grain murders," reprisal ladle gull.  "Grammars seeking bet." Armor ticking arson burden barter end shirker cockles."

"O hoe!  Heifer blessing woke, setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court Tudor cordage offer groin murder, Oil ketchup wetter letter and den ...  O bore!"

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, and whinny retched a cordage offer groin murder, picket inner winner and sore debtor pour oil worming worse lion inner bet.  Inner flesh disc abdominal woof lipped honor betting adder rope!  Zany pool dawn a groin murders nut cup an gnat gun, any curdle dope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage an ranker dough ball.  "Comb ink, seat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing his verse.
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bat rom end stud buyer groin murders bet.

"O Grammar," crater ladle gull, "War bag icer got!  A nervous sausage bag ice." "Buttered luck chew wiff, doining," whisked dis ratchet woof, wetter wicket small.

"O Grammar, water bag noise.  A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis."

"Buttered small you wiff," inserter woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mousey gut!  A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

Daze worry forger nut gull's lest warts.  Oil offer sutten throne offer carvers end sprinkling otter bet, disc curl and bloat Thursday woof ceased pore ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garble erupt.

MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wit strainers!

PORE LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT!!

Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation......

Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.....

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'
means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we
bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy
singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome"