Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked a goober employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The Goober leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.
Out of the corner of his eye, the professor observed what the student was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, he asked the student to first to stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.
Puzzled, the student followed after him to ask the purpose of this action.
"It will give me time to run away," said the professor.
We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al Gore.
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- Al Gore, US Vice-President
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Al Gore
"Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Al Gore
"Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Al Gore
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Al Gore, 8/11/94
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Al Gore
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.?" -- Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." -- Vice President Al Gore
"The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Al Gore
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/21/97
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." -- Vice President Al Gore
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -- Vice President Al Gore to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe." - Vice President Al Gore
"Public speaking is very easy." -- Vice President Al Gore to reporters in 10/95
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat." -- Vice President Al Gore
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." -- Vice President Al Gore
"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame. -- Al Gore
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." -- Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/996
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority." -- Vice President Al Gore,
9/5/93
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/18/95
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make." --Vice President Al Gore
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made." --Vice President Al Gore
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Al Gore
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." -- Vice President Al Gore
The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant was accustomed to seeing tired and sunburned occupants in the cars that pulled in to tank up. When a rusty old van containing a very tired looking couple and six screaming children pulled into his station, the attendant tried small talk to cheer the occupants.
"Hope you had a good day at the beach! Nice looking kids there. Are they all yours or is this a picnic?"
Wearily, the driver replied, "Yes they are all mine and it's NO picnic!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
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Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
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Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
