The PearlyGates NewsletterFeaturing clean, theologically incorrect humor.
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Cybersalt News - September 19, 2019Oh look, Chicken Thursday. A big old man-cold has found it's way to Cybersalt World Headquarters and apparently I'm hosting it in my head for the next little while. Fall is almost here! Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. ~ Pastor Tim Here is today's PearlyGates item.Dying PreacherAn old preacher was dying. He sent a message for an IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and the lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness and their avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats. Finally, the lawyer said, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?" The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too." "Be a Billionaire"and HelpRefugees andPersecuted ChristiansThe PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells. |
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