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[PearlyGates] Issue #0787

[PearlyGates] Issue #0787

The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0787 

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News - September 26, 2019

Preacher's Death BedOh look, Chicken Thursday and welcome to autumn or spring depending on the hemisphere you live in!

After 7 days of being sick I finally feel human again - extremely tired human. My relatively new journey into self-employment continues to provide new lessons along the way. It is always a drag to be sick, but having paid sick days is at least a copper lining. Not so when you are the captain of your own ship! Still, there is the benefit of no disappointment in returning to work and finding nobody else did your tasks while you were gone - that's a given in the wheelhouse.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

Let Us Spray

birthday2A joy of which I'll not partake
Is eating children's birthday cake.

To "blow out" candles, in a word,
Is really patently absurd:

Each puff contains sufficient moisture
To propagate your av'rage oyster.

 

So, Birthday-Boy and ditto-Daughter,
Withhold from me your whiff of water.

I do not need some little squirt
To atomize on my dessert.

Among the things I will not do
Is have my cake and drink it, too.


20 billion thumb"Be a Billionaire"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.


The PearlyGates Newsletter is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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