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[PearlyGates] Issue #0793

[PearlyGates] Issue #0793

The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0793 

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News - November 21, 2019

Chicken ThursdayOh look, Chicken Thursday!

If you live in the northern hemisphere, today is one month until the shortest day of the year and then the days will start to get longer - hang in there! In the meantime it's a great time to rejoice with those toasty warn, sun glazed southern hemispherians! Enjoy our late spring and approaching summer!

It has been a while since I mentioned the Be A Billionaire fundraiser. If you haven't checked that out yet, now is the time make a family member or friend "rich" this Christmas!
www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/be-a-billionaire-fund-raiser

In Cybersalt News, I'm looking forward to some making some exciting announcements early in December as more and more of my self-employment brain cells continue to finally greet each other.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

Clown Substitute

clown juggling"If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober

A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band, and even a hired clown. Just before the party started, two goobers showed up looking for a handout.

Feeling sorry for the goobers, the woman told them that they could get a meal if they would chopped some wood out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house.

Soon the guests arrived, and all was going well, with the children having a wonderful time. However, eventually it was noticed that the clown had not shown up. In time he called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.

The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself.

She happened to notice, out the window, one of the goobers doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips, and leapt back and forth.

She spoke to the other goober and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvellous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!"

The goober replied, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him.”

"HEY NEIL! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"


20 billion thumb"Be a Billionaire"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.


The PearlyGates Newsletter is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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