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[PearlyGates] Issue #0799

[PearlyGates] Issue #0799

The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0799

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News - January 9, 2020

Chicken Thursday by Kathie M.Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Thanks to Kathy M. for supplying today's Chicken Thursday picture. Kathie must have a pretty nice house because it looks like they really want in - or maybe they are just knocking and want to set up a neighbourhood Bible Study.

There is some exciting news cooking here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. I won't be able to share it until later in the month but when I do I will have pictures!

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

River Crossing

rapidsOne day, Joe, Bob and Dave were hiking in a wilderness area when they came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

Joe prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, although he almost drowned a couple of times.

Seeing this, Dave prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river."

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat 4 times times.

Bob had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools, and the intelligence, to cross this river."

Poof! God turned him into a woman.

She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.


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The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.


The PearlyGates Newsletter is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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