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[Cybersalt Digest] Issue #4546

[Cybersalt Digest] Issue #4546

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  Issue #4546  
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Cybersalt News - May 7, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Down through my life many people have wished I would cover my face when going out in public. Wish granted!

tim and susan masked

Grandma Cybersalt and I are very thankful to a friend of ours who sewed these masks for us. It seems odd to think about going out in public wearing them (our provincial medical doctor is still asking us to wait two more weeks before "doubling our bubble") but not as weird as risking the lives of others or ourselves.

Speaking of weird, I've noticed a very strange new type of person on my TV. People who claim to be pro-life while at the same time arguing for the sacrifice of the elderly and weaker members of society for their own gain and comfortable standard of living. Just imagine the thoughts of those who sacrificed their own lives in WW2, so their children could live long lives in peace, if you were to tell them a future generation would sacrifice those same children as seniors for a haircut and a hamburger.

Wash your hands, keep safe and enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

 
 
 

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Today's CleanLaugh

Big Date

kitchen newA young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?"

He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

"The evening was a disaster," he moaned.

"Why? Didn't she come over?" asked his mother.

"Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook..."

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1472

Better living through denial!women no evil

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20 billion thumb"Be a Billionaire"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

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Today's Clean Pun

Goal Limbo

restaurantDid you hear about the perfectionist who walked into a bar?

It was too low.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1910

quote 1910

"We are not all in the same boat, but we are in the same storm."

- unknown

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Today's Illustration

Mothers' Maintenance Manual

womanMany of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime. Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles. Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.

Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can find. She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child. But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak performance.

Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a night out every 1,000 miles, and a live-in baby-sitter with a one week vacation every 10,000 miles.

Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items, notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you's" will do very well! for a recharge.

Carburetor: When a mother's carburetor floods it should be treated immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.

Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full stop occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest).

Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, leftovers and salads, but an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her efficiency.

Chassis: Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained. Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary. A change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful. If you notice the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers.

Tune-ups: Mothers need regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly.

Oh yes, and let's not forget to speak to mother lovingly and respectfully, especially when she reminds you to drive carefully and have a good time.

If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and gift from God, whom we call "MOTHER", should last a lifetime and give good service and constant love to those who need her most.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

 
   
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