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[PearlyGates] Issue #0815

[PearlyGates] Issue #0815

The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0815 


Cybersalt News - May 14, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

rowboatOne of the new (to me) quotes from the last couple of weeks is "We're not all in the same boat, we're all in the same storm." I was reminded of this today when I received a call from a refugee who was obviously having a very low moment. He, his wife and 4 children live in a 10 foot by 20 foot single room apartment. They face a huge fine if they are caught taking their children outside during their current quarantine. Their children have been inside for 6 weeks straight.

This is a blessed family because they do have a church who wants to sponsor them to come to Canada, but they still face a hard road because when refugee interviews (conducted by the Canadian government) are able to resume, there may still be a 2 year wait for their interview, and during that time they will be in danger of being arrested and sent back to their persecutors. In this storm we're all in, let's be grateful for what we have and also pray for and be practical towards those with smaller boats than ours.

Wash your hands, keep safe and enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

Animal Gifts

barnA retiring farmer, in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals, so he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man was the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman was the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of one street and saw a couple outside gardening.

"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one," the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken" said the farmer.


20 billion thumb"Be a Billionaire"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.


The PearlyGates Newsletter is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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