2020: I’m going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.
2020: It’s like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded!
2020: Police calling out over a blow horn, “Come out with your hands washed!”
2020: Tornado warning tomorrow. Lock the kids in the bathroom. They can’t come out until you shout, “All clear!”
2020: I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.
2020: And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.
2020: Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but what staying home on the couch can do for your country.
2020: Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.
2020: I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.
2020: It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.
Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle; I’m just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there’s a turd in Saturday.
Freud had a bicycle as a child, and he often took it apart, as he was very interested in what made it work.
Thus began his interest in cycle analysis.
"I came to Him because I did not know which way to turn. I remained with Him because there is no other way I wish to turn. I came to Him longing for something I did not have. I remain with Him because I have something I will not trade. I came to Him as a stranger. I remain with Him in the most intimate of friendships. I came to Him unsure about the future. I remain with Him certain about my destiny."
- Ravi Zacharias
A few years ago, there was a news story on the radio about a Jewish synagogue that had a problem with the Baptists down the street. Some Jews were unable to find a space in their own parking lot because members of the nearby Baptist church, which met earlier in the morning for revival meetings, got there first.
The Jewish synagogue had a problem.
Now they could have towed the Baptist's cars away. Or they could have patrolled their lot Saturday mornings.
Or they could have written a letter to the offending church members, imploring them to park elsewhere, but they didn't.
Instead, they used bumper stickers.
One Saturday morning they stuck a bumper sticker to every car in the lot - Baptist and Jewish alike. The sticker read: "I'M PROUD TO BE JEWISH!"
No more parking lot problems.
