Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

Backups! We don' NEED no steenking backups.

4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

E Pluribus Modem

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny

Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are

A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.

My software never has bugs. It just develops undocumented features.

An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting

C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?

Happiness is a competitive advantage.

Marriage is grand ... Divorce is about ten grand.

"Why does philosophy matter?"
"I don't know. Why does science matter?"
"Well because scie-"
"Annnnnnnd you are doing philosophy."

- unknown

Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various traditions, such as lighting the unity candle from two individual candles.

Couples usually blow out the two candles as a sign of becoming one. Our minister said that many people were now leaving their individual candles lit to signify independence and personal freedom. He asked if we wanted to extinguish our candles or leave them burning.

After thinking about it, David replied,

"How about if we leave mine lit and blow out hers?"