Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor.

The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations, You're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence!" he tells her. "I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask him what was wrong.

He moans, "I work for Seven-Eleven!"

They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke; nothing gets you out of bed faster!

The cheapest and best place to buy water is at a liquidation sale.

"Love is like a beard. If you let it grow, soon it'll be the first thing people notice about you."

- unknown

4 years: "My Daddy can do anything."

7 years: "My Dad knows a lot, a whole lot."

12 years: "Oh, well - naturally - Father doesn't know that either."

14 years: "Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned."

21 years: "Oh, that man is so out-of-date. What did you expect?"

25 years: "He knows a little bit about it - but not much."

30 years: "Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks."

35 years: "Let's ask Dad what he would do before we make a decision."

40 years: "I wonder what Dad would have thought about that? He was pretty smart."

50 years: "My Dad knew absolutely everything."

60 years: "I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him. I really miss that man."