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[PearlyGates] Issue #0828

[PearlyGates] Issue #0828

The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0828 


Cybersalt News - August 13, 2020

chicken thursday August 13Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I just noticed that today's one liner is number 1500! Back in grade school I hated having to do lines, but apparently over that.

In other news, it was a windy day at Cybersalt World Headquarters yesterday. We're located atop a large hill and when the wind hits it just right, we get to witness some pretty interesting behaviour by some of our local birds. It was fun to see a couple of all black birds having a great time playing as they soared along the edge and then tucked one wing in to do barrel rolls, apparently just for the joy of it.

It's fun to watch but it does also make me feel bad for those times in the past when I've had to eat crow.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

Temperance River

riverA preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:

"Shall We Gather at the River."


20 billion thumb"Be a Billionaire"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.


The PearlyGates Newsletter is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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