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[PearlyGates] Issue #0746

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The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0746

 
Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News - November 15, 2018

chicken thursday 1115Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

Never Be Late

confessionalA parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the 25th anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic.  Sooo.....the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of this parish from the first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here 25 years ago, I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had embezzled money from his place of business and had an affair with his boss's wife. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of understanding and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish," said the politician.

"In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."

 

 

The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.

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