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[PearlyGates] Issue #0758

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The PearlyGates Newsletter

Featuring clean, theologically incorrect humor.


Issue #0758 

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News - February 14, 2019

chicken thursday feb 14Oh look, a very rare Valentine's Chicken Thursday!

I realize Valentine's Day isn't always an easy day. Whether it is for you or not, give Psalm 91 a read today and try to spot the "chickenish" part that is a comfort to all!
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+91&version=NIV

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim


Here is today's PearlyGates item.

Dog Wash

dog9A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner Mom & Pop grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."

"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."

But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

"Oh, he died," the boy said.

The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."

"Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."

"Oh? What was it then?"

"I think it was the spin cycle!"


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The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fueled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s OK with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.


The PearlyGates Newsletter is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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