Inspiration

A father used to say to his children when they were young: —When you all reach the age of 12 I will tell you the secret of life.

One day when the oldest turned 12, he anxiously asked his father what was the secret of life. The father replied that he was going to tell him, but that he should not reveal it to his brothers.

The secret of life is this: The cow does not give milk.

"What are you saying?" Asked the boy incredulously.

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals.

He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one.

Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over.

"Everyone knows no fully stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

"In battle you never rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training."

- Unknown

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant, named Calle. It seems that Calle has a chronic illness which requires daily medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmacologist developed a suppository for her.

The 10-inch-long, four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard Chocolates in Burlingame, California.

Administering the DAILY medication takes five zoo workers, including one person to distract Calle with treats and one person who wears a full-arm glove.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THIS MEANS?

It means that five people have jobs worse than yours!

Now stop complaining and get back to work.