Inspiration

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage.

A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well.

"What was her answer?" the instructor asked.

"I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."

A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist.

"So who did you see before coming to me?" asked the doctor.

The patient answered, "My local General Practitioner."

"Your GP?" scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of time! Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?"

"He told me to come and see you."

Quote by a forest ranger at Yosemite National Park on why it is hard to design the perfect garbage bin that will prevent bears from breaking into it:

"There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."

A friend and I stayed at a Chicago hotel while attending a convention. Since we weren't used to the big city, we were overly concerned about security.

The first night we placed a chair against the door and stacked our luggage on it. To complete the barricade, we put the trash can on top. If an intruder tried to break in, we'd be sure to hear him.

Around 1 a.m. there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" my friend asked nervously.

"Honey," a woman on the other side yelled, "you left your key in the door."