(For the record, the catchy title to this post was that last thing to be written before I hit publish. I do love a good rhyme almost as much as I love alliteration.)
I discovered while Matt and I were away on retreat that I’ve forgotten a bit how to pray. I remember the theory of course, but it seems like my quiet times with God have gone the way of coffee visits with friends: we still get together, but part of my mind is always on stand-by, ready to leap from the conversation into mothering at a moment’s notice. It’s hard to achieve any depth.
This isn’t a challenge that I saw coming. Sure, there are a ton of resources and articles out there about all the other relationships that change when you have a baby, from your husband to the family pet, but no one warned me it would be harder to connect with God.
This sums up most of my attempts at “quiet time” with God.
One of my challenges now is that I expect to fail at really connecting with God, and so I hardly even try. I do pray quick on-the-go prayers, and I do occasionally flip through my Bible. I even started working to re-memorize Hebrews 12, but all in all I feel my soul getting a little bit malnourished. I don’t want to wait for things to go completely off the rails before I give my best effort to connect with God, and I don’t want to give in to the nagging voice that says spiritual mediocrity is something I just have to settle for in this season of my life.
My April goals went really well, and I was thinking of whether I should make new goals for May. While my goals for the coming month are not so easy to put in bullet points, I do want to commit to seeking a new normal with God that is healthy and fulfilling. It’s a challenge because it is uncharted territory for me, and I am nervous to try for fear of failing. But trying very rarely makes anything worse, and scripture does promise that when we draw near to God he draws near to us.
I would love ideas for making time (and disciplining myself to actually use the time) to meet with God and strategies to make that time fruitful. Comments welcome, as are prayers