(For the record, the catchy title to this post was that last thing to be written before I hit publish. I do love a good rhyme almost as much as I love alliteration.)
I discovered while Matt and I were away on retreat that I’ve forgotten a bit how to pray. I remember the theory of course, but it seems like my quiet times with God have gone the way of coffee visits with friends: we still get together, but part of my mind is always on stand-by, ready to leap from the conversation into mothering at a moment’s notice. It’s hard to achieve any depth.
This isn’t a challenge that I saw coming. Sure, there are a ton of resources and articles out there about all the other relationships that change when you have a baby, from your husband to the family pet, but no one warned me it would be harder to connect with God.
One of my challenges now is that I expect to fail at really connecting with God, and so I hardly even try. I do pray quick on-the-go prayers, and I do occasionally flip through my Bible. I even started working to re-memorize Hebrews 12, but all in all I feel my soul getting a little bit malnourished. I don’t want to wait for things to go completely off the rails before I give my best effort to connect with God, and I don’t want to give in to the nagging voice that says spiritual mediocrity is something I just have to settle for in this season of my life.
My April goals went really well, and I was thinking of whether I should make new goals for May. While my goals for the coming month are not so easy to put in bullet points, I do want to commit to seeking a new normal with God that is healthy and fulfilling. It’s a challenge because it is uncharted territory for me, and I am nervous to try for fear of failing. But trying very rarely makes anything worse, and scripture does promise that when we draw near to God he draws near to us.
I would love ideas for making time (and disciplining myself to actually use the time) to meet with God and strategies to make that time fruitful. Comments welcome, as are prayers