A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker are captured by cannibals.
The chief cannibal comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, put you in a pot, cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take zee sword."
The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "Right--a pistol for me, please."
The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at himself, says, "God save the queen!" and shoots.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork."
The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over; it's horrible!
The chief is appalled, and asks, "What in the world are you doing?"
The New Yorker says, "So much for your stupid canoe!"