***Here's another good one to just delete before reading if you can't laugh at yourself.***
*Deciphering Baptist Church Names*
First Baptist: It has been there too long.
Second Baptist: The people didn't like First Baptist.
Third Baptist: The people didn't like First and Second Baptist.
Ana-Baptist: The people didn't like First, Second, Third or Fourth Baptist, and didn't want to call themselves Nth Baptist because they want to be the first on the list alphabetically.
Calvary Baptist: The people crucify their pastor regularly.
Community Baptist: It is a social community club.
Conservative Baptist: The people don't talk to strangers.
Cooperative Baptist: They compromise with anybody and anything.
Free Will Baptist: They draft wills for everybody for free, but the church must be the primary beneficiary.
Fundamental Baptist: Fund a mental Baptist.
Grace Baptist: They say grace at every meal, no exceptions, not even one, and don't you forget it!
Immanuel Baptist: They are in manual mode: Church leaders must push them to serve.
Independent Baptist: The people don't depend on God.
Memorial Baptist: It is dead.
Monument Baptist: It is history.
Missionary Baptist: They send out missionaries who are sick and tired of fellowshipping with people who don't do anything.
Open Door Baptist: They lock the doors after Sunday morning services.
Pentecostal Baptist: It is for people who work for the Pentagon.
Primitive Baptist: They don't divide or multiply among themselves.
Progressive National Baptist: They are members of NASCAR.
Seventh Day Baptist: The other six days are for party.
Southern Baptist: The people hate cold weather.
Third World Baptist: The people love the world so much they don't mind coming in third.
Tabernacle Baptist: Hmmm ... it doesn't LOOK like a tent.
United Baptist: The people are union members.