A joy of which I'll not partake
Is eating children's birthday cake.

To "blow out" candles, in a word,
Is really patently absurd:

Each puff contains sufficient moisture
To propagate your av'rage oyster.

So, Birthday-Boy and ditto-Daughter,
Withhold from me your whiff of water.

I do not need some little squirt
To atomize on my dessert.

Among the things I will not do
Is have my cake and drink it, too.