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fight on_soldierA guy walked into a tavern and sat down on a barstool.  He ordered a beer and a shot glass of whiskey.  The bartender was surprised to see him place the shot glass into the pocket of his overcoat.  The man proceeded to drink his beer, then reached into his coat pocket and removed the shot glass, empty.

He ordered another beer and shot glass of whiskey, and again placed the shot glass into his coat pocket.  Again he removed the glass empty, then ordered another round.

Overcome by curiosity, the bartender asked the man why he kept putting the shot glass into his pocket.

"Oh," he said, "that's for the Colonel?"

"The Colonel?  Who's the Colonel?"

The man reached into his pocket and removed a little man, about 12 inches high, dressed in the uniform of a British army colonel.  He placed the little man on the counter. 

"Is he real?" asked the bartender.

"Sure he's real.  Colonel, would you mind walking up and down the bar a little way?"

The little colonel marched briskly a few feet up the bar and turned around, then marched back to where the man sat.  "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!  Can he talk too?"

"Of course he can talk," said the man. 

"Colonel, why don't you tell him about the time that you were stationed in Africa and called that witch doctor a liar?