You Might Belong To A Redneck Synagogue If . . .
(Sorry folks, there was just no way to Gooberfy this one)
- People ask, when they hear about oil lasting 8 days, whether it was Pennzoil.
- The shofar sounds like a duck call.
- The Bar Mitzvah centerpiece is made from grits. It's in the shape of a shotgun.
- The rabbi says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to approach the bima," and then five guys and two women stand up.
- You can tell it's a fancy Oneg Shabbat when they serve beef jerky.
- Opening day of deer season is recognized as another high holiday.
- A member of the synagogue requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
- The rabbi and the cantor drive matching pickup trucks.
- The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
- Bris is referred to as "branding".
- "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
- High notes on the organ set the dogs under the floor to howling.
- The Sisterhood recipe for gefilte fish calls for a medium-sized catfish.
- You can recognize life cycle events by the clean t-shirts.
- For Purim, all the kids dress up as Dale Earnhardt.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?"