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Grandfather Jokes

  • golf bagPlaying golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 25-foot putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?"

    His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. My grandfather missed the putt by ten feet, and his friends gathered around to collect their money.

    Granddad pulled out a dollar bill on which he had written, "I can make this putt." 

    His pals are still trying to collect on the bet - and grandpa is too.

  • man old3The 4 stages of man:

    He believes in Santa Claus.

    He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.

    He is Santa Claus.

    He looks like Santa Claus.

  • couple old1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

    2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.

    3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

    4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.