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Vegetable Jokes

  • Flower Pun

    flower bunchA teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word "dog" in them: dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet.

    She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface "dog."

    Steven raised his hand and said, "Sure Miss Jones. How about a 'collie' flower!"

  • Oneliner #0959

    fruits and vegetablesI hate it when I think that I'm buying "Organic" vegetables, but when I get home they're just regular donuts.

  • Turnip

    turnip cookedI put some turnips, his least-favorite vegetable, on my eleven-year-old son's dinner plate and instructed him to eat everything. He cleaned his plate, except for the turnip.

    I pointed out to him that if he'd eaten it earlier, he wouldn't have been left with its taste in his mouth at the end of the meal.

    Thoughtfully, he replied, "I guess I was just trying to delay the inedible."