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Home Owner Jokes

  • gorillaDid I tell you the story about the day I arrived home from work and discovered a gorilla sitting on my roof? Not knowing what to do, I opened the Yellow Pages and looked up "Gorilla Removal." I called the only listing. A man quickly arrived and removed the following equipment from his truck: a ladder, a bunch of bananas, a big stick, a pair of handcuffs, a Chihuahua and a gun.

  • How to be handy around the house - in 10 easy steps.1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.

    2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.

    3. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.

    4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.