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Winter Jokes

  • Blizzard Police

    horse snowWhile driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman, standing waist deep in snow, directing traffic.

    Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow."

    The policeman called back, "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!"

  • Learned From a Snowman

    snowman"All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... "

    --It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.

    --Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

    --Wearing white is always appropriate.

    --Winter is the best of the four seasons.

  • Learning From Snowmen

    snowman"All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... "

    It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.

    Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

    Wearing white is always appropriate.

    Winter is the best of the four seasons.

    It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.

  • Preparing For Ski Season

    ski fallSki season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:

    16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

    15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.

    14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.

  • Proud Pawns

    chess gameWhat do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

  • Winter in Wisconsin

    winterIt's winter in Wisconsin
    And the gentle breezes blow,
    70 miles per hour
    At 52 below!

    Oh, how I love Wisconsin
    When the snow's up to your butt.
    You take a breath of winter air
    And your nose is frozen shut.

    Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
    I guess I'll hang around.
    I could never leave Wisconsin,
    'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.

    - Author Unknown

  • Winter Twilight

    snowmanWhat do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

    Frostbite

  • Yukon Christmas

    Yukon ChristmasThanks to list member Marcia Laycock (and her insomnia) for a creative variation of the classic poem.

    Twas the night before Christmas, in Yukon you know,
    Way up above 60 where Arctic winds blow.

    Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
    A dreaming of Christmas, like me and like you.

    Not stockings but mukluks, at the foot of their beds,
    For this was the Yukon, what more need be said?