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Parenting Puns

  • Don't Laugh

    man2PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

  • Father's Occupation

    man magician"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

    "He's a magician, Ma'am" said Little Johnny.

    "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"

    "He saws people in half."

    "Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

    "One half brother and two half sisters."

  • Pun versus Pater

    father and son2What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke?

    A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father!

  • Starting Over

    childrens handsThe mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had to do over again.

    "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones."

  • Tough Kids

    boyThree little boys were bragging about how tough they were.

    "I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week".

    "Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day".

    "That's nothing", said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see my grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour."

  • Turnip

    turnip cookedI put some turnips, his least-favorite vegetable, on my eleven-year-old son's dinner plate and instructed him to eat everything. He cleaned his plate, except for the turnip.

    I pointed out to him that if he'd eaten it earlier, he wouldn't have been left with its taste in his mouth at the end of the meal.

    Thoughtfully, he replied, "I guess I was just trying to delay the inedible."