Christmas Puns

ornamentsSome of the internet's best Christmas puns found in one place. If you are looking for puns, this is a collection of some of the best.

  • carolersAggressive Carolers: Wassailants

  • kneading doughThis past weekend, I was doing some baking for the holidays. It was getting late and I was tired. So, I decided to leave the cleanup mess until the next morning.

    The next morning, I was getting my coffee and I noticed thousands of little tiny footprints in the flour on the countertop.

    Needless to say, I wasted no time calling the FBI.

    They confirmed that I did, in fact, have AntTracks. Yikes!

  • Christmas Dinner PunI don't think I'll attend Christmas dinner this year. 

    My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she said she's going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

  • church crecheThe Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.

    After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story. Most of the pictures were predictable, but Johnny's had an odd element in it.

  • A good Christmas and Pizza PunWhat is King Wenceslas' favorite pizza?

    One that's deep pan, crisp, and even.

  • Christmas Pun Christmas time is a season when many people are more interested in the present than the past. 

  • christmas drumSome of these are horrible. Enjoy!

    What do they call Santa's helpers?
    Subordinate Clauses

    What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
    Krisp Kringle

    Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
    Santa's little Elvis

    Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
    "Rude Olph"

  • 96villager1Many years ago, I was casting kids at our church for the annual Christmas play. I gave the children choices, such as Shepherd, Lamb, Villager.

    One 5-year-old couldn't decide, so I said, "Luke, you can be a Villager."

    He said, "OK," and ran over to his parents. Very excited, he said to them:

    "Guess what! I get to be a mini-van!"

  • santa wink"Christmas is a time when lots of people get Santa-mental."

  • men model plane“Christmas: That time of year when mother has to separate the men from the toys.”

    - Lee Daniel Quinn

  • christmas dogsSome of you on this list will actually enjoy these - proof once again of the need for more therapists in the world, lol.

    What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
    It's Christmas, Eve!

    What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
    Santa Claustrophobia!

    What disasters could happen if you dropped the Christmas turkey?
    The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China and the overthrow of Greece!

  • chess gameWhat do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

  • christmas gifts punSomeone steals your Christmas parcels.

    Better call the police Navidad.