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Church Growth

  • confessionalThe new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

    The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand."

    The new priest tries this.

    The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on,' and 'I understand. How did you feel about that?'"

    The new priest says those things.

    The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'You're putting me on!!!  What happened next?'"

  • teapotHow does Moses make his tea?

    Hebrews it.

  • church-pew"If you're bold enough to say you don't want your church to grow you should be the one who tells God to stop having kids."
    - @rev_norespect