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Weather Jokes

  • Eclipse Memos

    pictures of solar eclipseMemo from Director General to Manager:

    Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

    Memo from Manager to Department Head:

    Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

  • From British Newspapers

    newspaper1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."

    - The Daily Telegraph

    2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

    - The Guardian

  • Winter in Wisconsin

    winterIt's winter in Wisconsin
    And the gentle breezes blow,
    70 miles per hour
    At 52 below!

    Oh, how I love Wisconsin
    When the snow's up to your butt.
    You take a breath of winter air
    And your nose is frozen shut.

    Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
    I guess I'll hang around.
    I could never leave Wisconsin,
    'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.

    - Author Unknown