If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:
1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians - they save me the effort of trying to keep them from God's blessings.
2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked - its pretty easy to keep them from working for God.
3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church - they are my missionaries.
4. Blessed are the trouble makers - they shall be called my children.
5. Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears for them.
6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes - for they get nothing out of his sermons.
7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church - for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
8. Blessed are those who gossip - for they shall cause strife and division - that pleases me.
9. Blessed are those who are easily offended - for they will soon get angry and quit.
10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work - for they are my helpers.
11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister - for they shall be with me forever.