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Health Jokes

  • Financing Surgery

    Doctor helps wife with husband's snoringA woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring.

    So, she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."

    He answered, "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."

    "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"

    "Hmm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

  • Wacky Warnings

    warning sign clownHere are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch.

    "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."

    On a public toilet: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

    "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to forceful injection of water into body cavities, either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft."

    On an electric router: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

    On a novelty rock-garden set (called Popcorn Rock): "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth."