The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

Lonely and alone, discouraged and empty hearted
That's when a man needs a brother

When the burden is heavy, the load too much to bear
That's when a man needs a brother

When in despair, and needing someone to care
That's when a man needs a brother

When the strong arm on your shoulders make the tears flow free
That's when a man needs a brother

The minister stormed into the vestry and flung his sermon notes on the table.

"Today," he shouted to the church officer, "I have preached to a congregation of jackasses!"

The Church officer nodded, "So that was why you kept calling them 'beloved brethren.'"

An old pastor stood in his pulpit addressing the congregation about the drought that had lasted for at least 8 months.

As all stood filled with faith, he told the congregation they would gather that night for prayer.

"Folks we are going to pray for rain so come prepared to see God move in a great way."

That night as many assembled the old pastor stood and asked a simple question.

"Folks, where are your umbrellas?"