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Speech Jokes

  • businessman blamed for long speechThe CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his employees, Jenkins, to write him a punch, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.

    "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded.

    "Half the audience walked out before I finished."

  • A joke about a boss's speech that goes too long.The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech.

    When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious.

    "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished!"

    The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."

  • woman shockedIt was a full auditorium. Halfway through the author's talk, she began to feel sick. In a calm voice, she announced that she had left a few pages of her speech offstage, in her bag.

    She walked off slowly and, as soon as she was out of sight, ran to the bathroom where she immediately threw up.

    She was just about finished when someone came into the bathroom to tell her that her lapel mike was still on.