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Birthday Jokes

  • roulette tableA lady was having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas and she was down to her last $50.

    Exasperated, she exclaimed, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

    A man standing next to her suggested, "I don't know... why don't you play your age?" and walked away.

  • card birthdayA man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card.

    The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?"

    The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers both events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday..."

  • birthday2Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.

    She called to remind the people at the clerk's office that she was exempt because of her age.

    "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said.

    "I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year."

    "You have to do it every year," she was told.

    "Why?" came the response. "Do you think I'm going to get younger?"

  • pinataHaving moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who take the time to label carefully boxes they pack for us.

    The accuracy of labels can make a huge difference when we try to find something right away.

    My favorite was done by one guy who attached this sticker to a box - obviously not knowing how to spell the best one word description:

    "Animals you hit with a stick at a Mexican party."